A Comprehensive Analysis of the Enemy

Okay, then to the next part. Mini-gabe is back again, pimping now ANOTHER Nintendo game, this time "Shadow of the Ninja" for the NES. He then proceeds to play the game and ignore the camera. For like 20 minutes. He does talk, but the mic quality instantly dives into the "Shit" category, so I can't tell worth a damn what he's saying as he plays. All I can hear is faint NES music and his mumbling. But, some stuff I was able to hear by cranking up my speakers and annoying the neighbors:

"Made in 1990... 15 years ago.. just yesterday."
"It's dark outside, but it's raining out so it's bright what do you expect"



So, moving on about an hour and a half, it's time for a "Touching is Good" review. Apparently, they finally found their bodies and how rubbing feels about as good as playing "Shadow of the Ninja":


Well, that's okay, whatever they want to do. Again, it's a Nintendo DS review, this time "Wario Ware: Touched". He doesn't do too bad this time, apparently surpassing Jabba the Hutt by about 30 points of skill and about 100 pounds. He speaks somewhat clearly and presents himself well, I think it's because of his bitching cool yellow T-shirt:



But anyway, he basically sits there and does the standard thing: Blow into his DS mic on camera like a little faggot, but you know what? I don't care. I want to get back to Jabba, which is greatly granted to me in the form of a Wario Ware: Touched review. Oh god.

"SEIZURE WARNING!!!" he says, the cameraman laughing. Not only has Jabba changed shirts, but he also has managed to change his hairstyle, his location, and apparently the tone of his voice. But, regardless, he's playing a DS AGAIN, because there are no other game systems worth playing ever anywhere. He even makes it obvious in his FIRST FULL SENTENCE:

"By the best gaming company in the world"(Pose)"Nintendo".

So, I'm thinking this is already going to be a biased review, there is no way the greatest gaming company in the world could get a bad review, so why even bother? But, he proceeds to make the review so much more attractive by saying:

"This is basically Wario Ware Touched... but with spinning".

Spinning like this?




So basically, he doesn't do that bad. Well, I'm lying. First of all, his partner forgot that his Cottage Cheese thighs were not the main attraction of the show. Second off, he drops great lines, even beyond the Nintendo quote, like:
"All unlockables.. the music... tunes"
"It's a very cheesy song, and I like it"
"Oh there's Kid Icarus? Remember him? I bet you don't."
"There are longer versions of the games in the game. You get what I mean."
"There's even a minigame where you play a mario level. I was blown away"

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