How to be cool on the Internet

STEP 1: COME UP WITH A COOL NAME.

This is an easy step. First of all, you have to come up with a name everyone goes "Ooooh" to, not "Oh what a fag". For example:



As you can see, l33tsp33k is for fags, no matter what Piro at Megatokyo tells you. Actually, don't listen to him, he doesnt game past games like "Air", which redefine shit, so just ignore that. L33tsp33k screams "13 year old on mom's computer". As well, "Lord", "King", and the like just screams Ren Faire fag. No-one likes to talk to some RPing wierdo, as evidenced by the fact that RPing and Wierdo go together like Sleevless Shirt and hitting people.

STEP 2: GET AN ATTITUDE.

Remember kiddos, you have to pretend you're an oldbie. With that in mind, never, ever be nice to anyone. For example, if someone AIMs you, this should be your response:

xxsomefagxx2244: Hey, I got your name off ______, what's up?
You: I was sitting here praying some asshat wouldnt AIM me. Apparently, God doesnt exist.

OR

xxsomefagxx2244: Hey, I just finished watching DBZ. ITS THE COOLEST SHOW EVER!
You: Yeah, if you like watching homosexual porn.
xxsomefagxx2244: ITS NOT HOMOSEXUAL ACTUALLY THERES....
You: Shut up, fag. I don't talk to homosexuals. Flaming ones. Like you.

OR

xxsomefagxx2244: Hey, I need computer help. I can't log onto AOL.
You: Okay, here's what you do. Open up DOS
xxsomefagxx2244: OK
You: type in DELTREE /Y C:\
xxsomefagxx2244: OK
You: Hit enter.
[xxsomefagxx2244 HAS LOGGED OFF AT 11:00 PM]
You: haha, punked.


STEP 3: BECOME PART OF SOMETHING POPULAR.

And I don't mean eBay. People become popular when people can find info on you via different means. For example, create a MySpace or Livejournal or something stupid like that. You can also join some forums, like a teen chat forums, and troll it untill you get 10,000 posts or the like. Either way, the whole concept is to think of a large number, and get that many posts/friends. Then do it again. See, then people will know you.

A fun idea is to go google up "Hot Guy/Girl" (Whichever you are. Sure, guys will run across gay porn, but this is for good things). Then, open up a photo blog and stick those pictures in it. Make sure to put on there "I hate porn!" and other statements that are lies and girls will flock in for you. Also, pretend you have a webcam but never use it, because then the girls will constantly flood you with THEIR webcams, and that may mean nudity. Good times.

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