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My opinions on G4.by Kirk, 2005-05-11 |
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 Get it? I replaced the T with a L! Now Filter is now Filler! Haha! I love photoshop. Seriously, Filter is a shitty show. When was the last time someone went "You know, I want to know what people think are the top 10 games in the ____ genre. And I mean, not like actual gamer's opinions, or anyone with half a brain. I want some frat jerks who watch G4 obsessively and post on their forums to tell me. Seriously. Just today, I was watching G4. They were doing a list of the greatest RPGs of all time. Good, right? Wrong. Let's look at the list: 10 Baldur?s Gate ? PC 9 Xenosaga Series 8 Paper Mario 2: The Thousand Year Door ? Nintendo GameCube 7 Star Ocean: Till the End of Time ? PS2 6 Super Mario RPG ? SNES 5 Star Wars: KOTOR ? Xbox 4 Chrono Trigger ? SNES 3 Fable ? Xbox 2 Kingdom Hearts ? PS2 1 Final Fantasy Series OK, this is bad. For one thing, Baldur's Gate should have never graced the top 50, let alone the top 10. Xenosaga shouldn't have ever been here, ever, in any alternate universe. Didnt the PS2 Star Ocean game get bad ratings? Now, here's the biggest biscuit burner in the list: Fable won over Chrono Trigger. MY GOD. How in the HELL can a shitty XBOX RPG compare to a game that almost every RPG gamer reveres like a god? Also, how in the hell can Kingdom Hearts even compete with Final Fantasy? Kingdom Hearts could fit in a nice 10 slot, but... TWO? IT COMPETED WITH FINAL FANTASY ITSELF? OK, I think that sums up my opinion. It blows. Get rid of Filter, unless you have some serious voting going on. Stop pussying around and giving God of War, Fable, and Halo 2 blowjobs and actually consider giving things legitimate ratings.  WOW! DRIFT RACING! WHAT I REALLY WANT TO DO TODAY IS WATCH A BUNCH OF HALFASS RACERS PUTT AROUND A TRACK TRYING TO CREATE AS MANY SKID MARKS AS POSSIBLE! ALSO, I REALLY WANT TO SEE SOME UGLY LATINA MODELS SHOW OFF THEIR FAKE CLEAVAGE AND ASS. SERIOUSLY, THAT REALLY ENTERTAINS ME AS A HARDCORE GAMER. My reccomendation- Ditch this shit, NOW. If you're gonna have a car show, make it like a Gran Turismo show, not a damn NFSU show. Oh yeah, and do you guys not get the universal rule of gamers? We all like asian women. Show us hot asian women. No, we do not want them tan. Yes, maid uniforms give us +1 boners. No, thongs do not.  Hmm, how do I describe Judgement Day. The two guys that do it are pretty cool, they are very honest in their reviews, and they do fit the bill of being honest to god gamers who understand what the hell's going on. They don't give blowjobs to the game-of-the-day, and they always have something interesting to say about games. There isnt much to say about this show except hell yes! Note: Tommy Tellarico, will you stop whoring out to seemingly everything on G4. You're clever, but not that much. My reccomendation- Keep it.  First of all, this is not an official G4 show, if you want to get technical. They're actually ripping this shit off a DVD, so you can expect it to be a little different than the G4 standard. Or so you'd hope. This falls right under the Formula D theme. Why do I want to watch some black guy who acts like a gang member run around and get hardons off spinners and chromejobs? Come on, people. Cars are not all about how low you can get it and how much bass power you can put in it. Get a life. What's really great is that when he's doing all this shit, he never really actually talks about the cars. I've seen him get arrested, flirt with ugly girls with fake breasts, drive around in a company car, walk around a car show... but never actually talk about what makes these cars he gets wood off of special. Oh, that's very nice, its got chrome on it, but I bet it's got a shit V4 engine in it. Hell, I bet it doesnt even have a god damn floorboard. My reccomendation- Ditch this show.
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