Shenmue II

Do you like mindless exploring? Do you like being wrapped into a story in which you have no clue how to progress it? Do you like being lost in a huge, long-loading 3D version of Hong Kong that you have absolutely no map to? Do you like playing a game where everything sounds like it came from bad actors speaking through a toilet paper roll?

Then Shenmue 2 is your game.



Sure, as a hardcore RPG/Adventure fanatic, I was estatic that I would be able to play Shenmue II on the XBOX, a port of the "Wildly Popular" game on the Dreamcast. Unfortunately, I quickly learned that "Quickly Popular" must have applied to the one satisfied purchasee of this game: A CORPSE.

Shenmue II is a travesty of XBOX technology, it is a travesty of Chinese lore, it is a travesty for this game to exist. Maybe people with lots of patience, lots of time, and an uncanny knowledge of Hong-Kong-According-To-Shenmue-II, this game might be a good game. Hell, if you're looking for a game in which you run around aimlessly, this game is for you.



The story is, granted, deep. But you're not going to keep that depth. Why? Because, thanks to big Hong Kong and small Ryu, you're going to be wandering around without a d***ed clue as to where you are, what you are doing, or even how you got here. This game can be as complex and as deep as it wants, this is the first time I've said this game is WAY TOO DEEP. Games like Grand Theft Auto are great in the sense that they are deep, but you arent always lost. Games like THIS blow because while the game is deep, you have nothing to do if you get lost. GTA, you steal a car and go where you need to. Shenmue, you go through endless loading screens and maps to get to some d***ed section of Hong Kong.

I do not see the value in this game. I do not see the depth in this game. All I see are loading screens, s***ty minigames, and absolutely nothing else. The running-around-cutscene kinda things are interesting, but even the most horrible games sometimes get a little something right.

As an added insult, the game comes with a DVD of the original Shenmue on the Dreamcast. Did I mention this movie is as boring as the game? Did I mention the game sucked? So the movie sucks too? Lets not go into that any longer.



Translation: DO NOT GET THIS GAME -PERIOD-. This is a complete borefest. This game deserves to be chopped up by sushi makers, and fed back to the people who created it (And I feel sorry for all the creative talent, geniuses that they are, that should be stuck doing things better than this game). The people who made this game should re-make Shenmue 1 with decent graphics and sound, and remember that gamers don't mind delayed gratification, but to the point where I basically got nowhere for two hours, that's called s*** gratification.

0 star(s) out of 5

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