The DaVinci Code

If you've walked into a bookstore in the last year or so, you'll have noticed a thick hardbound book that has every single bookseller rolling in money- “The DaVinci Code”. Released by Dan Brown, famous for his love of religious whatnot, “The DaVinci Code” is a book that essentially attempts to throw the majority of the Christian religion in a bad light, portraying them as a huge sect/organization that attempts to cover up a key secret that Leonardo DaVinci knew. As fantastical as that may sound, even my local Barnes and Noble has a table dedicated to “DaVinci Code” books and spinoff examinations thereof- and, needless to mention, the “DaVinci Code” movie has just followed them grossing high dollars in the box office. So naturally, 2k Games pops in- and what do you know, they have a “DaVinci Code” video game.

Let me first explain something very quickly. This was a bad idea from the start. The book “The DaVinci Code” at in no way makes good video game material, period, end of story. This is the same equivalent as taking “The Scarlet Letter” and making it into a video game where Hester Prynne has to fight off enemies with a three ton bazooka. The whole book was basically, as many people put it, “Theology for Dummies”, and never really was exciting or intriguing enough to justify any kind of Video Game rendition- but apparently, in the sake of making some quick bucks, 2k games decided to ignore this key fact and publish it anyway, over most major consoles.



In the “The DaVinci Code” game, the whole story is the exact same as the book rendition, essentially meaning that if you've read the book, you know the game. Guiding Robert Langdon through the Louvre, the first level sums it all up- this game is bad. From the very start of examining a dead corpse to hunting around for items much like Link from The Legend of Zelda would do if he wore a tweed suit and had an obtuse love for paganism. By picking up items (Such as a UV Lamp), you can go and complete run of the mill puzzles, and help Robert Langdon and his associate-slash-French-cryptologist Sophie Neveu find out the exact same thing that they figured out two years ago in bookstores everywhere.

But wait, there's more! To somewhat alleviate the fact that this is extremely stupid, 2k games apparently decided that, much like any other video game, they would add a fighting aspect, with a side dish of stealth. Yep, I'm not kidding- while nowhere in the original book will you find such actions, in the “The DaVinci Code” video game, Robert Langdon has the ability to fight miscellaneous police and guards, using his tried and true “I'm a professor!” kung-fu skills. Even Sophie, a Cryptologist, has the ability to lay down the smack down in a way that would even make the fighters from Dead or Alive go “Damn”, and it is all done in gratuity just to make sure you know what's going on. What this ends up making the game is one big horrible mess, as the fighting engine is not even COMPLETED, and ends up being like a “Simon Says” match where you dodge and attack, as well as a “Gang Rape” situation when you find out that none of the characters can handle more than one enemy at once.

Oh, and let's not forget some general mistakes, even on the very basic level. First off, as I noticed in the Louvre level, all of the security guards are remarkably weak- and conspicuously missing guns. For police that are guarding multi million dollar paintings, I would think they would be able to do more than pick up a metal guard post and use it as a weapon, and ESPECIALLY be able to fight off an aged old professor in a suit and tie. I would also expect that two idiots would not be left alone, especially when they are “suspected” of murdering some old man. Even worse, I would expect that none of those two idiots would know any form of Karate, especially not to the point of being able to fend off professionally trained police officers (Though note again, if you get more than two, the whole battle system actually glitches and you always die. This is ironic, because most, if not all, battles involve more than one police officer.)

The presentation in this game is decent, but when really closely examined, is remarkably lazy. A lot of textures and mappings are re-used, there are only something like three distinct areas in the entire game (And most of it seems to be in the Louvre itself), most of the characters move erratically, sometimes the game froze in a dramatic pause for up to three minutes (I counted), for absolutely no reason (not loading, not anything- just staring at a painting while the camera stared at them). The user interfaces were obviously made with some cheap graphics program and all look cut and paste, the sounds are ridiculous (culminating with Sophie yelling “I HAVE THE RIGHT TO DEFEND MYSELF”), and the controls are sometimes absolutely impossible to use correctly.

If the game were relatively interesting, this would be a minor issue- but unfortunately, it's not. Even trying to “Forget” everything about the book itself, I easily blasted through this game in approximately two hours- and two hours of mediocrity I want back. The controls to move your appointed character are bad, the graphics are sometimes absolutely horrible, the characters are made of stone and move like they are robots, and none of the game resembles the movie whatsoever- which kills any explanation of a movie tie in. This game is a travesty in every form, every function, and in every way- and nothing looks good in it's favor, no matter how hard it tries.



Let me try to explain exactly how bad it is by just looking at the game itself- that is, the files it needs. First off, 2k Games forgot to rename the .exe file, so on my desktop I must constantly remind myself that the game labeled “Slayer” is indeed “The DaVinci Code”. In gameplay, numerous 3D artifacts and blatant errors can lead you in the wrong direction, or sometimes getting absolutely stuck. Most of the puzzles, if not all of them, can be done with some rudimentary guesswork that takes about two minutes to figure out- and worst of all, this all happens simultaneously to repulse every single sense I have in my body.

The only way I can explain this game is to basically say that “The DaVinci Code” the Video Game is an absolute travesty, rolling in it's own sense of horrible gameplay and mediocre work, showing how bad a video game can truly be. Maybe the whole “DaVinci Code” phenomenon is just a farse- considering how bad this Video Game and the official movie is, we may just be seeing the realization that the Video Game Industry and Hollywood share one common flaw- the marketing of something that never needed to be marketed at all. There is no way in the world I can give this game even a half a star, because I have the feeling this game only took 2k games thirty minutes to produce, and 20 minutes of which being coming up with good box art. You could buy much better things- like a gun to blow your brains out- before you purchase this game.

0 star(s) out of 5

Discuss More PC Games More Action Games