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GI Joe(NES) (E) (Action) |
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Gotta love Joe
JUST SO YOU KNOW THIS RIGHT NOW..........
Yes, I download roms from every site i know of, but the question remains....do i own over 1000+ game cartridges matching the roms i have????????? Yes. The first game im going to review was made after the old animated show "GI Joe" also known for the 30 action figures of GI Joe's I got, no, not dolls ACTION FIGURES. I could immediatly tell when I downloaded this rom, (which I CLEARLY own the catridge to) that it was going to be one of the best games I had ever played  When you first enter the game, they give you the usual nintendo action type game intro: "The earth has been taken over by evil people or thugs!!!! It's up to you Joe to save the world, because we all know you can defeat the enemys who walk in straight paths!!" After the cheesy intro, they let you select your team-mates, the main character here is Duke, (why not Joe?) so you have to be Duke, but in any case, the people I chose to be were:  ROCK AND ROLL AKA: THE ANGRY MIDGET WITH 2 ENGINES AND  BLIZZARD AKA: The guy who kinda looks like Captain America on ski's After I had chosen my characters, it was off to battle as we departed in what they made out to be a Tank, which in my opinion, looked like a chair with giant wheels, and 2 p****es sticking out of it, BEHOLD THE MOBILE PENIS CHAIR  When you first get in the game, you notice that for some odd reason the colors were stranger then that time you ate the candy that the man behind wallmart gave you.  Since when are trees red? and how come the leaves on the trees are like, sorta yellow? And since when do jungles have giant piles of moss to walk on all over? or is that grass..? WAIT A MINUTE, SINCE WHEN DOES GRASS/MOSS STACK LIKE THEY'RE BOXES?????? Ok, this game is really screwing with my mind here, the only thing that looks sort of in place, is the water. On a plus side, at least the soldier looks somewhat decent. When you're in game, you can use all the directions to look or move in different ways, as I started to look up, I somehow got the feeling to just...well...dance!  Not only do the colors, and sprites suck in this game, but the creators have a horrible sence of gravity, or maybe they have low gravity in the jungle? i don't know, in my opinion jungles should be cut down, and replaced with shopping malls.  But in all honesty, I think the creaters of this game, which happens to be some no-name brand company called "Taxan" are completly f***ing retarded, why? take a look at this picture right here:  What do you notice? the things I notice are: -He's holding a rifle, yet the picture icon clearly shows it's a PISTOL not a rifle. -ok, why in the hell do the bullets look like cherios? -If you look closely the soldier has a big smile on his face, you know what he's been doing right? (*fap* *fap* *fap* *fap*) Another stupid little thing that I had noticed, is that for some odd reason, when you punch or shoot the enemy, they explode, why? I have no friggin idea, they should have renamed this game to "GI Joe: The fight for Iraq" if you didn't get the joke, it means that all the crazy little pixelated guys have sticks of dynamite strapped on every body part known to man. O NOEZ TERRORISTS!!!!!!!!!111111   The final flaw I will note about is the bosses in this game, I mean for a nintendo game it's OK to have cheesy looking bosses, but at least put some effort into the scripting, I mean, all this boss does is move back and forth while driving in circles, and every so often, it will fire 2 missles that go about double the speed of walking (which isn't very fast at all) but I tip my hat off to their selection of music, for some reason the cheesy intense battle music just gets me right into the game.  Overall, this game is sorta cool, I like the Contra style of gameplay it has, you know, run left and right, while pressing the B button as crazily as possible. If your a fan of Contra, or games like that, sure why not, try it out, but if your not, then I suggest you keep away.  Wait a minute, I thought his name was Duke......? ummmmmmm.... Im giving it: Two Stars
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