WorldsPlayer

Have you ever gone into a chat room only to find out that all those statistics you read online were wrong, that the world's IQ is going sharply down? Yeah, I know what you mean. Sometimes I review a game (Well, a "Chatroom", I had at least 5 players correct me on my terminology) and just feel like I should be doing something better with my time, like curing world hunger or killing Rob Schneider. Stuff like that.

WorldPlayer is essentially, in the quickest sense of the word, a 3D chat room. It supposively is pretty popular (Seeing the licences used, which have conspicuously died out more recently), and gets a lot of attention from the HOMG CHAT ROOM market. Friends and readers, this is a bad thing.

Coming on, I felt like I was playing a s***ty Windows 95 3D game. The graphics are absolutely terrible. The only way someone could adequately represent the graphics would be for them to take a texture, compress it beyond belief, barely put it over a shoddy-ass model, and throw it into an even shoddier (Doom had better graphics than this) game.

Okay, so let me tell my story on this game. So, I get on originally. Dead quiet. Everyone's on their ass doing nothing. Great chat room, Worlds! I really get the invigorating sense of chatting... when no-one chats. Quiet as a d*** funeral. So, anyway, I bust out with a classic:

"Hey, I'm from a website, reviewing this game. Would you mind answering the simple question- why do you play this game? What makes it good?"

Immediately, I'm jumped on like a whore bending over.





To the latter question, I was about to say the "KKK", but I suppose that wouldn't have been very appropriate to Mr. plasmah. Really, we find he has a small temper for comebacks quickly, after I somewhat poke fun at his "Looking for Hot Chicks":


Of course, people on this game... err.. chatroom also have tourettes.


And some are just blind.


A little bit later, I ran off excusing myself for screencaptures, trying to ignore the dips***tiness of the Worldsplayer database. Examining the responses they give each other, I can deduce a few things:
1. All of them seem to be older, possibly late 20s to 30s, to as far as 40s.
2. All of them have the collective IQ of one.
3. All of them know nothing of flirting except "hi u hot chick?".

If Worldsplayer is a chat room, it's a POS one. Now for the "Game" content- the 3D bit. Keeping in mind you do nothing but walk around and change clothes, there's not much you can do, but still:



Oh, by the way, that's a pic of my friends plasmah and LiLMousey and other groups of the Older Little Rascals, which I have informally nicknamed the "Wheelchair Rascals". Of course, any person with a computer after 2000 knows these graphics suck like a vaccum, which isn't hard to do in something like this. I understand that the whole theory is to make it accessable to lots of PCs, but DAMN- this made my ATI Radeon x850 want to go "What, did you buy me for this s***? Go out and play this s*** on your own, I'm gonna turn off.". Seriously.


"Animal House" level. Note the lack of everybody. Actually, most if not all servers are D-E-A-D dead. Meaning you can't even get on them. Not suprising, considering the servers that are up are deader than Ronald Regan (LOL POLITICS JOKE OF THE DAY!).


And some s***ty meteor thing. Note that instead of the game downloading these on the fly, to get these, you must:

1. Walk onto a teleport thingy or hit the teleport button to get there.
2. Click OK, let it download the package.
3. Restart the game, letting it install.
4. Boot it up, starting where you were.
5. Re-hit the teleport button.
6. Realize there's no-one there.
7. Repeat.

It just plain out sucks.

Overall, I like this idea. A 3D chat room needs to be made that combines 2D chatrooms of old with 3D graphics. Decent graphics. I would think something like a 2D-3D combination, with 3D characters on a flat plane, like Yoshi's Story for the N64, only with great graphics. I'd play that a lot- if it had the right amount of emotions and allowed you to customize, it'd be great. But, the people at WorldPlayer really have no idea what the hell they're doing, and just bastardized a Doom engine into making one of the darkest, crappiest places on the internet.

0 star(s) out of 5

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