Kendo Rage

What happens when you mix a obviously-not-japanese Japanese Schoolgirl with a kendo sword with some sort of magical artifact and a sidescrolling engine? You get Kendo Rage, a sidescrolling horror from 3eta.







In this game, you play a very strange bright-red haired girl who wears a school uniform and carries a kendo stick. Ignoring the fact that Japanese people can't have bright red hair (Though sometimes dark red) and wearing a long skirt for a uniform is a sin, lets move on.







This game reminds me quite a bit of any given 2-d sword fighting game. It has obvious elements of games like Mega Man, being as that you can "Charge" your sword (Rather, instead of holding a button, in this game this meter in the corner charges your power of some sort). The game itself is your traditional SNES game, meaning that there's no real story, no real explanation, just a basic 2D crapper with OK graphics.







Part of the engine is this intertia thing, which reminds me of the Sonic games for the Genesis. Of course, there's no advantage to go super-fast, as jumping in this game doesnt get a boost from it, and you end up going Chibi (supersmall anime).







The enemies in this game are no better, either. For a while there, I was totally convinced I was fighting miniature ghosts, bears, and ghost sperm. I don't know, being as whatever the hell your kendo sword "Shoots" when you fire is a little disturbing on its own, so its best just to ignore it.







Apparently the creators of this game are utter asshats, and can't figure out a better enemy than some sort of fat thing that dresses like you. It also shoots floating sperm/s*** at you, and the game was so hard to control and use, I just gave up and let Jo die. I mean, after all: Wouldnt all the other kids be laughing at Jo's red hair and big breasts?



Overall, I give this game 2 stars. The engine isnt terrible, but the game itself makes no god d*** sense. Of course, nothing japanese makes any d*** sense. I think that whole country is on acid or something.

2 star(s) out of 5

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