Monopoly

Okay, while reading this to yourself or to your friends or your dog, try to think of how often you've thought "Damn, I want to pay $30 for a board game on a console so I don't have to go find real friends to play with". Any of you? Probably not.

Monopoly for the Game Boy Color is a game that just reeks of a s***ty board game port. Oh wait, that's exactly what it is. Every single concept of Monopoly that I've grown fond of, from "This is my part of the board. If you land on this part, your ass is mine" to "Oh s*** I'm losing time to steal houses". Instead, this game basically forces you to play by the rules (Boring) against computer players and your friends.

The first problem with this game is that it just doesnt port well to the Game Boy Color. It's hard to see, all the peices are small, and it's really REALLY d*** hard to keep up with your property. To check your property, you have to hit select, say it is you, select your property, etc etc etc... boring. I'd rather just have a button to mash. They could have used Start, because it seems to do nothing, but whatever.

The second problem with this game is that it is basically rigged. Your roll in easy mode essentially assures you to win. For example, playing with easy players, you can essentially roll past anything that would be of threat to you. However, let's talk about Hard mode.



Hard mode is like bending over and being gang raped your first day in prison. Twice. First off, every roll you make is guaranteed to send your ass to somewhere where you must pay cash. Second off, other (hard) players will always roll super-high super-lucky rolls that guaratee them the best property at the best times. Also, don't forget you will always be harassed by them trying to offer you to trade them your stupid property so they can get a monopoly (Hell no).



Overall, I recommend against getting this game. Wait, you can't even get this game anymore, being as the Game Boy Color is basically dead. Regardless, this is a d*** fine example of getting beaten with a stick by your stepdad while your dog brutally molests your girlfriend.

1 star(s) out of 5

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