Eye of the Beholder

Once and a while, I feel like playing a traditional RPG, like Castle of the Winds or Final Fantasy 5. Something that requires mindless character upgrading and overall dorkiness. No shooting, no running, no explosions, just good old fashioned level-upping.

This game I'm reviewing now is called "Eye of the Beholder", a game made by Capcom and designed to be a Advanced Dungeons and Dragons clone. In any case, here's my review for this crock of s***.


First thing you'll notice is that its for the SNES, a system that basically was MADE for RPGs like Final Fantasy 6 (3) and Chrono Trigger.


Heh heh. I hate playing games where it forces you to create a party like this. What should I do? It just gives you three essential choices- Race, Alignment, and Name- and lets you roll stats. In my opinion, the character faces are the ass-end of ugly, but thats because I prefer anime based RPGs, which makes me a faggot.


Also, did you know I have this like smug look on my face? Maybe its because I'm in a party of three debatably hot chicks. Maybe its because no-one knows I spent all our gold on porno mags. Or maybe its because "Bitch" or "Slut" forgot to put on pants today. Either way, virtual-me is having a fun time with this.


Here's the real meat of the game: Running around some unnamed dungeon. Screw the fact that they forgot to add things like:
1. A map
2. Difference in the world at all
3. Enemies that are TOUGH

but whatever. Overall, its just like a s***ty AD&D game- you go around killing stuff, levelling up, and about nothing else.


This game is an inspiration to CSers everywhere.


OH NO! Trolls. Four of them. Should I fight? Nah. I'm not in the mood to play "Player Kirk rolls dice. Its 18!". Hell, most D&D matches go something like this anyway:

Player 1: I roll the dice. Its 15!
Player 2: I roll the dice. Its 8!
DM: Okay, but player 1, you get minus points.
Player 1: Why?
DM: Because you're a faggot. Player 2 wins.
Player 1: GOD DAMNIT!
Player 2: Yes! I got the scroll of ____!
Player 1: I'm out of here. I hate this game, you're all fags.

I think this game needs that added to it. As a player, you can push the "Whine" button, which will allow you to bitch about how unfair the DM is. Also, you can push the "Mountain Dew and Cheezy Poofs" button, which will allow your players to get fatter.

Overall, don't waste your time with this game. Realistically, its not fun at all. Its just another attempt to give loser D&D geeks a hard-on.

1 star(s) out of 5

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