Making the perfect Counter-Strike server

I'm going to let you off right now, that this review is clearly sarcasm, if you do what I say to do in this article, chances are, nobody will ever join your server.



OK the first tip for creating the ultimate CS server, is to have custom maps. Do not add any good custom maps, use really bad maps that were made by Nipper, such as "Falling" where the whole map your just falling hoping to get a kill. A key thing not to have in your server if you have custom maps is the "fast download" plug-in. I mean, if they REALLY want to play the map badly, they're sure as hell gonna have to wait a bit.

Next thing you'll need in you perfect server, is random long sounds. This is also perfect to not have fast download on, since again, they'll have to wait awhile to even get in the server. Add really horrible sounds too, like songs. Because in-game they're really scratchy and sound terrible, but people like bad sounds right? also, add Simpson's sounds, preferably the famous Nelson laugh "Ha ha" and "Doh" and "woohoo!" plus if you do manage to get people in your super server, spam the Simpson's sounds, they love it!

Another great thing to have in the server is really bad plug-ins. Where I come from, people love things that suck! for example, get a mod where you can fly, have chicken mode, and low gravity! wow, hearing about all those really cool plug-ins, just make my skin tingle with joy!

The last thing you'll need is abusive Admins, no server is complete with an admin that will kick,slay, or ban you, when you kill them. Also, if you want to have even more abusive commands for Admin, add more crappy commands such as the ability to slay your whole team, or everyone. Or the ability to set people on fire. Then get in spectator mode and watch a certain player, and right when he's about to get into combat, set him on fire.
No he wont be angry, in fact he'll love the abuse!

If you follow my steps, you'll have the best Counter-Strike server EVER.