Secret Designs of the Revolution!

Okay, in a recent interview on Gamespy.com, the big man of Nintendo himself, Shigeru Miyamoto, was talking about designing the controller for the Nintendo Revolution. Essentially, for those of you who don't wanna read it, he ran his mouth about the Gamecube controller, and then went on to say nothing new about the Revolution controller.

Okay, so with my SUPER L33T SKILLS, I have found some SECRET REVOLUTION CONTROLLER DESIGNS! Yes, apparently the people at Nintendo are tight-lipped about what the BS processor "Broadway" will do, but with a little payment (And reassurance that the 6th "Mario Party" wasnt a sign of franchise abuse), I got some information. Let's look.

DESIGN ONE:

Here we see Nintendo ripping off Sony's concept of the controller-that-also-functions-as-a-boomerang, except as we can see, there are extra buttons and a third control stick. What is it for? Just like the "Z" button on the Gamecube controller, no-one (Even Nintendo) has a clue. Oh, and don't forget the freaking sweet racing stripes.

DESIGN TWO:

HOLY CRAP MAN! Have we seen this before? Yep. Apparently, Nintendo's taking the Gamecube controller and making it super-awesome by giving it, yes, RACING STRIPES. I mean, my Mario or Zelda game will be so much better when I realize I'm playing on a controller with freaking RACING STRIPES.

DESIGN THREE:

Nintendo, still being unoriginal ("If we can't make a sequel of it, we'll steal it"), has now taken the Steel Battalion controller into consideration. Included are buttons to:
- Control Mario
- Make Mario Jump
- Make Mario Throw
- Make Mario pee
- Make Mario Look around in Sunglasses,
- Make Mario look around in Ray-Ban Sunglasses,
- Make Mario change clothes,
- Make Mario comb his hair,
- Make Mario talk to himself,
- Make Mario rock like he's Autistic,
- Make Mario convince you that the gamecube WAS a decent system,
- Make Mario convince you to kill yourself,
and much much more. Also, there's a few other buttons on there that do nothing because, of course, they look cool.

DESIGN FOUR:

The Revolution official Desert Eagle! So all you Nintendo fans, when the Revolution with the super "Powerful" Broadway processor and "Innovative" ideas come out, you can kill yourself once you realize that even the 360 will trump it like how an abusive father beats his childeren. It's point and click!



Overall, I know I've been mean to the Revolution. But hell, the more info that comes out about it, the more I laugh and expect a bunch of kids to be dissapointed. Then again, I'm not suprised that a lot of kids aren't dissapointed with their Gamecubes. But, whatever.